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23rd May 2022

Panda escapes from China's EU embassy

  • Bid for freedom thwarted (Photo: Jason Lunte)
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Belgian police used tasers to stun a panda which vaulted the gates of the Chinese EU embassy in Brussels and wreaked havoc in neighbouring gardens early Friday (1 April) morning.

The visibly distressed bear, weighing over 100kg, had also romped through rush-hour traffic before it was intercepted in the grounds of the Indonesian embassy nearby.

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  • China's formidable EU embassy (Photo: Google)

The incident, quickly dubbed 'BearGate', occurred the day of a virtual China-EU summit — in times of grave geopolitical tension.

"The panda was going to be a diplomatic gift from Beijing to Brussels in the tradition of Ting Ting and Na Na," an EU diplomat said, referring to Cold War-era bears. "But China withheld it because talks went badly," they said.

"It was our only summit deliverable," a second EU diplomat lamented.

The panda was, in the run-up to Friday, also seen in the windows of the Chinese EU embassy in photos circulated on social media. The bear, which is remarkable for its teardrop-shaped eye patches, was holding up a card on which someone had scrawled the words: "Help me!".

Belgium declined to comment on the panda's asylum claim.

This article is an April Fool's joke. None of the quotes or information in it are true.

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